My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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