i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Michael Bay diarrhea
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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