i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
