Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
another moral hangover. fuck.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
