K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
