I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
