Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
