the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
