Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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