I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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