Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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