Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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