I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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