Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
