Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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