Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
