i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
