Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.