Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops