Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.