I want to stick my p in your. b.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.