At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
