My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
