Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
