I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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