you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
