I heard we made out
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
