just tell him i said nine months
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize