Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
