I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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