He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
