In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
