We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
