im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize