Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
