I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
