Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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