So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
