When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
