You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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