I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Buhtt sex?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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