A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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