She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
