ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
