I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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