my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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