so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
