if you like me you must not know who I am
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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