I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
