Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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