yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
