I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize