We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
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Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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