Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
