I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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