he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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