hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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