I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
