Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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