Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
