Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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