PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
