So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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