Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
