please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
