Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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